quietmint

Signs that your company clearly sucks at life:

• You remove the AIG name and logo from your office buildings.
• Your CEO publicly admits that “the AIG name is so thoroughly wounded and disgraced that we’re probably going to have to change it”.
• You send memos to your employees telling them not to wear anything with AIG name to avoid being killed by the public mobs. “If you think you are being followed, immediately dial 911!”
• Your mismanagement has prompted Congress to tell AIG executives to kill themselves and attempt to apply a 90% tax to AIG bonuses.
• Your web site’s most prominent feature is a button bragging about how you are “Protecting customers, repaying taxpayers”.
• Your employees have e-mail addresses that read aloud as “a-i-gag.com” (alright, so the last one has nothing to do with the bailout, but I accidentally discovered this hilarious pronunciation of one of the company’s domain names when a client called technical support last week)

It has never occurred to me that I could call the government if I were to run out of gas.

Alan Peterson, Incident Management team leader for the Utah Department of Transportation, has been assisting drivers who have pushed their fuel tanks too far and run out of gasoline. In 2007 the team gave out about 721 gallons of gasoline to stranded people. This year so far, they have already given out about 524 gallons. [...] Last month, the team helped 150 motorists refuel.

If the end of the year sees double the current amount, that equates to 3 gallons of free gas every day. At the current price of $4.15/gallon, Utahns are [collectively] paying $12.45 every day because of a growing number of idiots (as of last month, we’re now up to 5 per day!) who disregard their fuel gauges. Is it really that hard to put gas in a car? Even using the lower 2007 numbers, 721 gallons divided by 52 weeks is 14 gallons/week. Let’s hear that again with gusto: The government is handing out a full tank of gas every week! My car doesn’t even hold 14 gallons, but I’d still like to know how to submit my name into the drawing.